Goya – Guanabana

Posted: August 24th, 2010 | No Comments
Packaging
Let’s be honest… this fruit is scary looking. I’m hoping this is a spike free beverage.  When I think of quality I think GOYA, don’t you?  The side of the can says “Shake well for better flavor.” It’d be cool if it said “may contain spikes.”

Smell
It smells fruity.  I can’t quite put my finger on it…. ouch it pricked me.

Taste
Surprized.  This drink has a very mild and delicious taste. I’d say pineapplish. The ocean land mine on the can is very misleading. I can’t say I would drink it again but atleast I am ready for the next season of Fear Factor.  What… that show is canceled? no way.

Price
This can was found for 99 cents at a shady dollar store by my house. Are you surprised?

3

NOS Energy Drink – Grape

Posted: August 23rd, 2010 | No Comments
Packaging
A tall purple can referencing automotive parts should warn the user that this bev should not be consumed in one sitting.

Smell
It’s a grape flavored beverage and it smells like a grape flavored beverage. Push the button now!!

Taste
The grape smell allows your nose hairs to believe you will be drinking a grape soda, that is a lie. They are really treated with a grapish energish concoction that leaves you scraping the inside of your mouth with your tongue.  It’s not an awful taste, it’s just not a great taste either.

Price
This can will cost you two pink slips… if you’re fast enough.

2

Grace – Coconut Water

Posted: August 19th, 2010 | No Comments
Packaging
The tall ripply can leads me to believe I am about to drink something soup related. The ‘with pulp (jelly)’ label is starting to scare me. Could this really be the ‘Ultimate Thirst Quencher?’ The container says that it is a product of Thailand just below a Jamaican flag, that explains a lot.

Smell
There is barely a smell, but just enough of something to let me know this might not be the beverage of my dreams. It reminds me of the beach just not the joyous parts of the beach.

Taste
Oh noco!  This was not something I want to remember. Just thinking about my drink is making me feel a little queasy.  Beverages with stuff floating around in them gives my brain the impression that something in the brewing process went terribly wrong. I don’t recommend this drink and will be checking with my doctor for any ringworms that have been inserted into my system.

Price
This can was 99 cents and was 99 cents overpriced.  I wouldn’t serve this in a soup kitchen.

1

X Games Energy Drink

Posted: August 13th, 2010 | 1 Comment
Packaging
This can is far out. The only part that is a little confusing is why the skateboarder has a hook for a hand.  Is he a pirate? Pirate skateboarding…now that is Xtreme!

Smell
Smells like an energy drink and not sweaty athletes. I was a little worried at first.

Taste
For an energy drink, the taste is pretty good. I’m almost positive it’s just Red Bull liquid in a pirate container. I was stoked to see it was made with natural herbs, the unnatural ones aren’t nearly as knarly.

Price
This can is free if you know the right people. Wink.

4
Sponsored by Francis Hogue.

Milk 2 Go – Banana Blast

Posted: August 13th, 2010 | No Comments
Packaging
The package is some sort of abstract, post-modernistic, bananish milk design. I drank the milk while sitting in my underwear on the couch so it wasn’t exactly ’2 Go’ but it was still delicious!

Smell
It smells like milk that slipped on a banana peel… oh man that bit never gets old, silly milk.

Taste
I’m partial to milk and I’m partial to bananas so when this bottle caught my eye as I was walking out the store, I first thought it was a joke but when it wasn’t… I knew great things were about to happen.  It tastes like those banana ice cream pops, but the liquid form and without a wooden stick.

Price
500mls of milk and banana flavored sugar will run you around $2. The blast will run an extra 50 cents.

4

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